Because I apparently cannot stand to see myself genuinely
happy, I have become worried that I am too materialistic this Christmas. The
thing that excites me most is the gifts I will be receiving, not the prospect
of seeing family members, not the religious elements. This troubles me. I would
like to think of myself as someone who values the intangible, the abstract, and
the qualitative in people and things. Instead, I feel like a spoiled child
waiting for their pony. (Only my pony has a ten inch touchscreen.)
There are, of course, a few reasons why I should not feel
this way. I think I am actually looking forward to giving gifts, for example.
But is that still a focus on the material aspects of the
celebration?
Another contributing factor is that I have not personally
given any money to charities this year. There will be donations as part of my
Christmas gifts, but I have yet to actually take cash out of my own pocket.
Part of this is due to my mixed feelings about the Salvation Army, to which I
would usually toss my pocket change.
I do not really know where I am going with this post, but
writing it was a useful exercise to make myself feel better about my desire for
MOAR PRESENTS this year.
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