Thursday, November 15, 2012

In Memoriam

My neighbor died this morning. She was 89.

She was truly like a third grandmother to my sister and me. Whenever we would have family gatherings for holidays or birthdays, we would invite her. She was a part of our lives. But it was not just us who were impacted by her—she was a great-grandmother with a large family.


I am happy that she never had to be placed in assisted living. She defiantly continued to go shopping and carry laundry up and down steep cement stairs on her own. She drove, too—probably better than me. She was fiercely independent.

Her husband died some time ago, but she kept his memory alive in her heart. One time, while I was visiting, she showed me poetry that she wrote every year for him. I wish I could remember it—it was quite beautiful.

She was definitely a feisty one, loving to watch Judge Judy give the smackdown to miscreants and deadbeat parents. One time, a brush-trimming vehicle cleared the banks against the road, but missed the weeds and mowed down her flowers instead. The next day, she put a large sign in place of her garden which read: “THE STATE DID THIS.”

Despite these memories, I do not feel like someone has just died. I did not feel much emotion over my own grandmother’s passing until my cousins and I were up at the coffin, crying together as the grouchy funeral director tried to get us out of the building (it was near the end of business hours). Another reason why I am not overwhelmed may be that this was not a surprise. From the time I heard reports of how she was doing in the hospital, I knew that she might not be long for this world.

My religious sensibilities are often ill-defined, but I sincerely hope that she is in a better place. I take comfort in the thought that whether there is something after death or not, she is no longer suffering.

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